Getting married would have probably been easier, and 34 other titles this newsletter was almost called
If you layer your tanks it’s basically a new outfit, and other ways to repurpose your three-piece wardrobe upon finding yourself in accidental exile because you may have overstayed your 90-day visa by 469 days
What not to pack when you didn't know you’d be lugging your suitcase on a two-and-a-half month detour around South America, and other hand creams you wouldn’t have brought
Getting residency isn’t a decision you’re ready to make, but you’re not ready to make the decision not to either, so you decide to allow yourself to make what might be a very expensive mistake
The marriage proposals are heartwarming, and it’s unfortunate that you’re so stubborn about being a strong independent woman
In a small fuck you to the patriarchy, you opt for residency through a business visa because god dammit what is money for if not to save your own ass with your own dollar, and other things you learn in Feminism 101
Although marrying someone would have probably been easier
“Where are you?” Your mom asks when she picks up the phone
“Where are you?” Your therapist wants to know as she starts the Zoom session
How to not let irony escape you when you’re stuck in the exact country you were too busy to visit for a border run, which is the very reason you’re in this scenario. And how incredibly full circle, and Alanis Morissette would probably be able to use this in a verse if she ever recorded an anniversary album
And exile was nice for a hot second, but you’re all finished with journaling and introspection, and can you please be allowed in yet?
You have too much time to listen to podcasts, which all suggest curious wonder which is apparently healthier than isolated apathy
Practice curiously wondering if the mosquito that just bit you will be giving you dengue
How to curiously wonder if you’re making the right decision by returning
How to curiously wonder if you can be trusted with decisions at all
Fill your time rubbing in hand cream and curiously wondering if you’re bipolar
Decide with more certainty than you’ve had about anything in a while that curious wonder is a cunt, among other emotions that can go fuck themselves
Your therapist says you’re not bipolar you just have a lot of feelings, and other self reflections
Your lawyer gets dengue
Your therapist also gets dengue
You’re unexpectedly let back in to Argentina. Was not anticipating the sudden entry, and as such finishes painting nails on the ferry ride over. Mild concern that complaints about nail polish fumes will prompt re-exportation
How to stage your own makeover montage upon returning to civilization. Bonus tip: generously apply all 800 aforementioned hand creams
Never eat tuna before a facial, and other questionable foods to avoid
Suggested talking points for your manicure because Spanish makes you nervous, and silence even more so
There is no deeper sense of self doubt than being handed the palette of nail colors at the salon, and other things that send you spiraling
12 arts and crafts projects to do with those disposable panty liners they give you in the dressing room for trying on lingerie
And isn’t it wonderful to be in the same country as your boyfriend again, but the middle of a disagreement is not the time to correct your spanish conjugation, and other survival skills he needs to learn
You don’t know how your jacket got unzipped, and look there’s lingerie underneath, and you really want to win this argument, did it work?
Gets out of therapy and has new crisis that you went into way too much sexual detail to your therapist
Watching sunlight stream through leaves of trees that line the streets, you’re proud of how beautiful it is, as if you had some say in the matter. You’re caught off guard because you’d been so focused on returning you’d forgotten to plan how you were going to feel once you were here
Running errands and needing to visit eight different shops to get all the ingredients for a single meal. While it drove you wild two years ago, it now makes you smile
You like knowing how many children the vegetable man has, and where they go to school
You’re reminded of an interview you’d heard where a man was talking about how he didn’t expect anything to change upon marrying his long-term girlfriend, and he was surprised by the certainty he felt in the relationship after marriage. It felt like you’d married Argentina
“So, is this like your permanent home now?” Your mom asks at the end of a call
“I don’t know, mom” You say, because you don’t. And other vague responses you’ve given lately
Adventures, deep feelings and doubts, many beautiful doubts... Maybe you're Marco Polo with the internet and greater sensitivity !! Thanks for sharing, I don't know if Alanis Morrisette will do a song but you have inspired more than one person...