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“Not only am I in band, but I’m also funny, creative, and willing to try everything”
👆14-year-old me trying to figure out why she's still single
Mar 22
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Danielle Ames
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“Not only am I in band, but I’m also funny, creative, and willing to try everything”
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The lunch shift Marcus ruined me
This is an essay from the vault that’s never been published. I started writing it in 2019, and like most things of that era, it went a little wayward. I…
Mar 15
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Danielle Ames
2
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The lunch shift Marcus ruined me
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Quite literally running away from a cute boy to avoid being asked for my number at all possible costs
Dear God
Mar 8
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Danielle Ames
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Quite literally running away from a cute boy to avoid being asked for my number at all possible costs
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Eight things better than playing Michaelandellaopoly
You’re rummaging through your parent’s storage unit, looking for dark-colored blankets your mom can use to make a cave for her preschool class. They’re…
Mar 1
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Danielle Ames
4
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Eight things better than playing Michaelandellaopoly
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February 2024
On men and fish and bicycles
This is a piece from the vault that I wrote more than four years ago. Without fail, whenever I take work to critique groups, there’s always at least one…
Feb 3
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Danielle Ames
3
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On men and fish and bicycles
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January 2024
Left-handed sex
I slept with a woman the other day and our teeth clinked together when we first kissed, in a way that hasn’t happened since high school. We’d had sex on…
Jan 20
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Danielle Ames
7
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Left-handed sex
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On what it's like having your period in the middle of the wilderness, and other things
As I crossed the starting line, Cameron matched my stride and turned to me, striking up a conversation about snowboarding. This annoyed me because: We…
Jan 6
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Danielle Ames
3
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On what it's like having your period in the middle of the wilderness, and other things
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November 2023
5 Business lessons gleaned from being sober at a kinky techno party
Just out of college I got a job working at the local paper where I wrote mainly business articles. I’d have to call up businesses and ask them their…
Nov 13, 2023
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Danielle Ames
6
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5 Business lessons gleaned from being sober at a kinky techno party
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October 2023
Balloon animals in a blackberry bush
There are very few instances in life where you can isolate the sensations of a single body part. Like doing kegels, or getting an IUD put in and finding…
Oct 27, 2023
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Danielle Ames
3
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Balloon animals in a blackberry bush
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August 2023
A life glossary (that probably won't get you very far)
Chinese restaurant: It’s like when you’ve been searching for an apartment for a long time, a very long time. And you see a listing on Facebook for a…
Aug 30, 2023
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Danielle Ames
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A life glossary (that probably won't get you very far)
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15 reasons why Spanish class is basically just therapy
1. “Dobby,” You tell your mom on the phone, laughing so hard you can barely get the words out. “When I speak Spanish, I sound like Dobby from Harry…
Aug 6, 2023
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Danielle Ames
2
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15 reasons why Spanish class is basically just therapy
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July 2023
Mountain Man
It was always a given how I’d meet my person. I was going to be on assignment scaling a snow-capped mountain in some remote country that you probably…
Jul 21, 2023
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Danielle Ames
5
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Mountain Man
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